Too Much Information
by Hikaru a
Summary: Remus/Sirius obsessive fangirl humor. (Rated PG-13 for content)


Too Much Information  
By Hikaru 

Summary:  
Remus/Sirius obsessive fangirl humor. Dedicated to Zoë-chan.

Notes:  
I am not responsible for this. This is in no way cannon, or even slightly based on the facts of the _HP_ series. I blame this fic on Zoë's un-dying fight to prove that Remus/Sirius are a couple.. which has only lead me to believe that they should be. Furthermore, I want to point out that this fic is supposedly taking place during Christmas break during Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts. Once the fifth book comes out, anything in this will be voided; this fic is not to be taken seriously. This is a parody. Okay? A P-a-r-o-d-y.

Harry was always one who loved the countryside. The green, tall hills, covered in thick grass; the light wind that blew through your hair; and the plain cleanliness of it all. Yes, the countryside was much cleaner than the air over at Privet drive.

Stiffing a yawn as he walked to the kitchen, Harry rubbed his eyes. Remus was in the kitchen cooking breakfast, his wand flipping over the sizzling bacon just as Harry sat down at the table. This was the first Winter Break in four years that he had not spent with Ron at Hogwarts. True, he missed Ron a little, but Harry knew he would see him once break was over. Besides, staying with his godfather and an old friend of his father was an ideal way to spend a break in Harry's mind. After all, Sirius and Remus were both good friends of his, despite their age difference, and during the break he had grown closer to the both of them. They were part of his family now.

He, Harry, smiled brightly as Sirius entered into the kitchen and sat down to the right of him at the round kitchen table. "Morning!" Harry cheerfully said.

"Morning, Harry," Sirius said tiredly, but with the same cheerful ring.

On the other side of the kitchen, Remus came, baring three dishes of eggs and bacon. "Only a few more days left until the end of break, Harry. You ready to go back to Hogwarts?" Remus pointed out playfully as he presented Harry with his breakfast. "Got everything ready?"

"No," Harry rolled his eyes. Remus had been doing the same spiel every morning ever since Christmas. He couldn't help but laugh. He was going to miss this flat when break was over.

"Sounds like you've everything under control," the gentle werewolf said as he lifted up his copy of the _Daily Prophet_ with a moving picture of Cornelius Fudge still denying that Voldemort had been revived during the past summer.

Looking over to his godson, Sirius noticed that Harry, who was eating very slowly, looked exhausted. "Harry-- you look so tired! What's wrong?"

Yawning again, Harry shrugged it off saying, "I didn't get much sleep last night."

"I didn't either," Remus said from behind his newspaper.

Surprised, Harry put his fork down and looked to Remus, "Really? How come?"

Sirius cleared his throat loudly, as if he wanted to change the subject. "So Harry how's your--"

"Remus, do you have a house ghost?" Harry asked, interrupting his godfather.

Putting his paper down and taking up his cup of tea, Remus replied, "No, Harry I don't. This flat is too small and new for a spirit to be living here."

Sirius swallowed, looking slightly more nervous, "Why do you ask, Harry?"

"Well, I was kept up with all this noise against my wall last night... I just thought that the house might have a ghost or something..." Harry paused for a moment, thinking. "Do you have any neighbors?"

Shaking his head, Remus flatly said, "No."

Of course not. Remus was a werewolf. He needed to be far away from civilization when he transformed, so he wouldn't harm others. "So, what else could make that all that noise?" Harry pondered to himself out loud. "I mean, it was really LOUD. It kinda sounded like screaming, but maybe I dreamed that..."

Sirius' face turned a bright pink, as he forced himself not to look at Harry directly. Instead, he turned his head towards the gigantic window next to him. Trying to ignore the conversation, he picked up his coffee and stared out the window. "I don't know what it was.." he said, wishing Harry would just drop the subject.

"Oh sure you do, Sirius..." Remus replied, sipping his tea, his eyes locked once again on the newspaper before him.

Turning a few shades more crimson, Sirius' eyes grew wide as he looked to his friend, stuttering, "R-Remus!"

Harry, the oblivious one as always, blinked.

Something was going on between those two. Harry didn't mention it, but the noises had been coming from THEIR room last night. He was too unsure of what was going on to knock on their door and ask what was going on. It could have just been a gas pump or something like that. Remus was nice enough to let him spend the break at his temporary flat, and so Harry thought it rude to wake him up over something as frivolous as that.

"You must have just have dreamed it, Harry," Sirius said, glaring at Remus the entire time. "We didn't hear anything... did we, _Remus_?" Seeing the uncomfortable look on his godfather's face, Harry decided not to push the subject any further.

But, when the noises kept Harry up the next night, he became worried. Perhaps Remus was semi-transforming into his werewolf state in his sleep. Or, maybe, Sirius was having nightmares about his stay in Azkaban. Whatever the circumstances were, Harry knew that something had to be done. But what? There was only one person he could think of contacting, and he wasn't exactly sure Hermione would be able to give him a straight answer, without telling him to refer to a million books. However, his worry over Remus and Sirius took over, and he hesitantly wrote a letter to Hermione.

_Dear Hermione,  
I know that we'll be seeing each other in a few days, but there is something that is happening over here that I am worried about. The last two nights I have heard these very odd noises coming from my bedroom wall. When I asked Sirius and Remus if they knew what the noise was, Sirius refused to tell me, and Remus... well, drank his tea and read the newspaper. I suspect that it might be Sirius having nightmares, and Remus thinks its not as big a deal that Sirius is making it out to be-- but I'm still worried about it. Please reply as soon as you get this from Hedwig. _

Harry

It was early into the next morning, when Hedwig returned with Herminoe's reply enclosed. The white owl landed on top of Harry's stomach, waking him from his sleep. The noises had happened again last night, but quieter. Maybe it was just his imagination. Hedwig, happy to have the nice long trip to stretch her wings, nipped Harry's finger playfully, and flew to Harry's shoulder, peering over at the letter as if she could read it. Harry opened the Hermione's reply, holding his breath.

_Dear Harry,  
I don't think it's Sirius having nightmares, Harry. I highly doubt that he would refuse to tell you-- the details of the dream yes, but he wouldn't flat out refuse to tell you. I also don't think you are imagining the noises either, for I have seen.... well... how to say this... I think I know what the noises you are hearing, are-- however I don't think it would be proper for me to tell you. Rest assured that neither are them are in any immediate danger. _

Hermione

Not proper for her to tell him what was going on? What? Harry blinked at the letter, not knowing what to make of it. Just then a call came from the kitchen, "Harry! Breakfast!"

"I'm coming!" he hollered in response. Jumping up from his bed, the letter still in his hand, he dashed over to the kitchen.

Sirius was already at the table, looking more tired than usual. "Good morning, Harry," he muttered in a low voice.

"Morning, Sirius," Harry said, sitting down at his chair, his plate already on the table. French toast with sausages. He looked over to Remus, who was already fully taken by his newspaper. Was it just him, or were they both being more quiet than usual this morning? With a sigh, Harry said, "Okay, out with it. what, am I in danger again, or something?" As Harry was always in some sort of ultimate peril, he had become very familiar with the silent treatment from his friends when they were worried about him.

A nervous smile came across Sirius' lips, as he let out a small burst of laugher, "Wrong, Harry? There's nothing wrong."

"Yes there is," he retorted, glaring slightly at his godfather. "I can tell by the look on your face."

Another nervous laugh. Sirius looked over to Remus for support, but his old friend just continued to read his newspaper. "Well- err... Harry... Remus and I talked last night... and... well-" he paused again. Sirius had never been a good one with words. Struggling with what he should say next, he looked down to his French toast.

Then, unexpectedly, Remus' said something. "Do you ever wonder why Sirius and I share a room, Harry?"

Harry blinked. He had never really pondered why they shared a room. Harry was sure that there was a logical explanation behind it- other than the fact that there were only three rooms in Remus' house: two bedrooms, and a living-room. He pointed this out, "Well, there are only two bedrooms in your flat, Remus."

Nodding in agreement, Remus tore his eyes away from his newspaper for a second, "Yes, but Sirius and you could share a room- or I could sleep on my couch-- although I would think that sleeping on that lumpy couch would be very un-"

"The _point_, Moony," Sirius interjected, becoming un-nerved at this subject once again.

Remus blinked as an innocent smile crossed his lips, "I thought you were going to tell him, _Padfoot_."

"What?" Harry looked to his godfather, his eyes begging for Sirius to answer him. "Tell me what?!"

A panicked look spread across Sirius' face as Remus returned to reading his paper. The dark-haired man paled to a white as he looked over to Harry, looking quite uncomfortable. "Well, you see Harry..." he swallowed hard. "Damn," he cursed, putting his face into his hands, "I didn't want you to find out this way. I swear, Harry..."

Now Harry was the one who was beginning to become uncomfortable. He gulped and asked, "what is it, Sirius? Please, you're driving me crazy!"

"Harry," Remus said, still reading his paper, "Sirius and I..." Sirius, from under the table, kicked Remus HARD in the leg. So hard, that Remus grunted from the pain.

It was the grunt that tipped Harry off. He had heard that grunt before... several times before. His eyes became very wide as everything clicked together... Sirius and Remus shared a room because... because....

The room began to spin as Harry's vision had become very blurred. In the distance, he heard Sirius rushing to him, catching him and calling, "Harry! Harry!"

Harry's eyes shot open, as he awoke in his bed, tucked in and in his pajamas, his breathing hard. He observed his surroundings, taking note that it wasn't morning, and he most certainly wasn't in the kitchen. _Was it all a dream?_ he asked himself. He silenced his breathing for a moment, trying to see if there were any.... unusual noises. There wasn't. He flopped back down on his pillow, reflecting back on what had happened in his dream. Sirius and Remus? No, it couldn't be... that would just be... "It's Sirius and Remus!" Harry reminded himself out loud. For some reason, he just could not absorb it.

Resolving to get to the bottom of this, he swung his feet off the bed, and headed towards Remus and Sirius' room. They would be able to explain things... confirm that the dream was just a dream, and whatever had happened in it was just something his sixteen year old mind had made up. Without knocking, he opened the bedroom door slightly, "Sirius? Remus? Are you awake?"

No answer.

He opened the door a little bit more, peering inside. Sirius' bed was empty. Harry's eyes grew wide with panic. Where was Sirius?! His eyes wandered over to Remus' bed, where he found the answer. There Sirius was, sleeping contentedly, holding Remus close to him. Both Sirius and Remus' long hair had spread out amongst the dark sheets, tangling together in a black and sandy mess. The moonlight shined brightly down on them as Harry's face fell. "Ah!"

Sirius' eye opened lazily, as he groggily said, "Harry?" Harry? His eyes opened wide with shock. "HARRY!" he exclaimed, flailing under the sheets.

Dumbfounded, Harry just stood there. After a second of Sirius' freaking out, Harry sleepishly rubbed his eye, and yawned. "I've been having some strange dreams lately..." and with that, he shut the door and walked back to his room.

The next morning, the three males had joined together at the table for breakfast as usual. Harry looked up from his pancakes, noting that Sirius' face was covered with a light flush. He looked to Remus, who was reading the paper, as usual. Then, with a short laugh, Harry said, "You know, I had the strangest dream last night..."

Owari!

Footnotes:  
That was very odd. Look what being a hentai fangirl does to you. Still, I'm kinda glad I wrote this. I needed to take a break from everything else. More R/S fiction in the future? Perhaps. I'm playing with a story that involves Sirius' devotion to being a good father-like-figure to Harry that will include Remus... but there's nothing on the table currently that revolves around just the two of them.

I hope everyone enjoyed!

Disclaimer:  
_Harry Potter_ is owned, created and/or copyrighted by by J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury Publishing, Scholastic, Inc. and AOL/Time Warner, Inc. This fic has no association with these companies- and the author made no profit from writing it. This fic was created for the sole purpose of entertainment.


End file.
